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Monday, July 20, 2020

My Swan Song

Lest you think I'm being dramatic, I'm not actually writing my last post.  But, there was a time that I thought that I would.
You see, on top of caring for two toddlers during the day(mine plus a good friend's), running a household and getting horribly sick with pregnancyitis, I had stopped much.  
But really, it was more than that.  I had some things I needed to think about before I got back to oversharing our life.

In the beginning, I started this blog for the sole reason of keeping all of our family updated on my pregnancy progress.  No more, no less.  It was, essentially, a good enough reason to not have to call everyone on the phone after every check-up because, if you know me, you know how much I hate talking on the phone.  
At the time, I didn't even know that professional bloggers existed.  
At the time, I didn't even know that strangers could read a blog.
(if you look back at the first year+ this is pretty obvious).

After I had Isla June, I suddenly had this urge to share ALL.MY.NEW.INFORMATION with the world.  Because, there's tons of stuff that no one ever tells you when it comes to a newborn.
And life as a new mom.  
It's overwhelming.

I figured that everyone would be as shocked as I was to learn that there are toxins in disposable diapers.

I assumed that I was helping others by sharing this information.  I thought other people wanted to know these things too.
What I learned is that this information can be scary to some.
And it can cause them to feel very, very defensive.

You see, I truly believe that we are all doing what we believe is absolutely the best thing with the information we have been provided.  I haven't made every single right choice as a mother.  I know that.  
But, I can promise that I never stop searching and praying for the answer.  

So, lest anyone think I'm just a google crazy momma, here's a little background on me that I have never really divulged on this blog.  Mainly for privacy reasons and out of respect for others.  But also because I jumped into this whole blogging thing without really taking the time to form some sort of starting point.  


My first job out of college was working full time at a daycare center in the 2 yr old classroom.  I had a child with autism in my group.  He was severe but we had some strategies that would help him function in the classroom.  I guess this spawned my interest in special needs children.
3 years later, I ended up as the Head Teacher in a public school classroom for Exceptional Children (students aged 3-5 with diagnosed disabilities). 

My understanding and implementation of a communication system for children with autism encouraged the children who fell under the autism umbrella to be filtered into my classroom.  
Not all of my students were given an autism diagnosis.  Many, in fact, were not.  
This was the fascinating thing for me.  Similar symptoms, different diagnosis.  Or different symptoms, same diagnosis.  
If I was to truly help my students with their disabilities, I figured I had to find out what caused the disability in the first place.
Thus started my research.
I had medical and developmental history on every child in my care; knowing this information was a vital part of creating an educational plan for them. I scoured over these documents to find some answers that would unlock a missing piece in our therapy.  I spoke extensively with parents about their child's temperament, eating/sleeping habits, medications, etc.  I had the opportunity to speak with many of my student's doctors as well.  I knew my student's and their families more than most teachers ever will, and I had a passion for helping them.

And then I got pregnant.  Let's just say that teaching children everyday who have genetic and environmental factors that effect their development can be a scary realization when you're attempting to grow a human inside of you.  It was a constant reminder that there is so much that can happen to this sweet, helpless baby.  
So I kept researching.  I researched and I researched. 

I've read multiple books from multiple authors about topics regarding vaccines, environmental toxins and alternative health including homeopathy vs. conventional treatments and healing the body through food.
I've read scietific and medical documents.  
Through these years of research, I've learned to be pretty good at digging through the articles that are out there and find the hidden truth.  When you know the medical jargon, it's easier.  
I've been in contact with mothers who have or, are in the process of, healing their child's neurological conditions through detoxification, natural remedies and diet/nutrition.  
Truth be told, it's fascinating.  And, it's overwhelming.

This is the path that God has put me on for my family.  I'm not sure why He gave me a passion for research and health.  I'm not sure why He steered my ship into the special needs arena.  
But, He did.  

Why am I telling you all of this?   
Because, I want you to know that anytime I share new research, or an article I've recently read, or a webiste I've found, or reccomend a book, it's because I've taken the time to really know if it's a source that I can trust.  A source that has reliable, verifiable, truthful and documented research of information.  It's information that I believe could be beneficial to your family, because I know it is beneficial for mine.  

But, with all that being said, this is MY path that God has put ME on.  
I'm not hear to judge anyone for making different choices!  I'm just here to share what I've learned.  

So, if you cloth diaper or use disposables,
if you feed your child twinkies or carrots,
if you vaccinate or you don't,
if you breast feed or formula feed,
if you co-sleep or keep baby in a crib,
if you work or stay at home,

I'm not here to judge you because, really, as mother's we get enough of that from the rest of the world (and from ourselves quite a bit).  I'm just here to share.  
You make the decisions that God has called you to make for your family.  

And, if you ever have a question about something I've said or shared, ask me (nicely).  
We don't have to agree, but we can share our feelings.  I don't mind doing that.  

So, this is me, being more brave about sharing.  About telling you the whats, hows and whys of our family decisions.  It's a little scary for me, because of the whole judging thing, but God is stirring something inside of me to keep going, to tell our story.  
And I'm doing my best to listen.


  1. Always so proud of you! Keep up the good work. xoxo

    1. Thank you, E! I always appreciate your support and kind words. :)

  2. remember what we taught you, never rationalize what you believe, don't doubt yourself because of others, you do what is right for you. I never read one of your blogs that pushed your opinions on are a wonderful and caring human and we are tremendously proud of you...sending lots of love AJ

  3. So glad you continue to blog even when there are those judging what and how you do everything. I love all the info you send our way and hope that you continue to do so. momastery wrote a post similar to this one just the other day that you may like. Thanks for doing what you do!

    1. Sara, thank you for reading, commenting and supporting! I always appreciate your words. A momestery post kind of spurred me to sit down and actually write this! So funny that you picked up on that; I absolutely love her writing.

  4. Love this, love you. So proud of you, my friend.


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