That's the life of the working mom. I swore I wasn't going to do it, but I did. I know that any mom, stay home or working feels the guilt- am I doing enough?, am I giving her enough of my time?, enough stimulation?, too much stimulation?, am I pushing for too much?, not enough?. I mean, it doesn't end. But, now that I'm back at work, it's just too much. My day pretty much starts at 5:30 am and I don't sit down until 8:30 at night. It's exhausting, and I'm not sure if I can keep it up...But, when I get home, I want to be with the babygirl, so I play with her all evening, until her nap or she's in bed, and then I spend that time cleaning, making lunch, doing laundry, preparing bottles, freezing breastmilk, washing dishes, etc.,etc. I don't know what I would do without Aunt JeJe because at least she has dinner ready almost every night. It's the only thing saving me I think.
And not that one type of mom is better than the others, but here's where I think the working mom guilt comes into play (and can kill you...). A stay at home mom might say, "I've been with the kids all week, I need to take some time this weekend and go get my hair done (facial/nails/whatever) and relax!" But, the working mom says, "I've been at work all week, I need to make sure to spend as much time as possible with the baby this weekend!" See the difference? The working mom just doesn't get a break. And if she does, she feels guilty.
Everyday, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. If I try to think about everything I have to do, or the fact that I have another 7 months of this routine (before summer break, thank God!), everyday, every week, every minute, I get totally overwhelmed. One day at a time I say because it's all I can do...
God bless you Meagan. You are super woman! I don't know how I'm going to do it all either!
ReplyDeleteHi Meagan!!! I will say it get better with time and then I started over with another baby.. Haha!! Maybe I am crazy. I love the guilt you put into perspective. I here from some of my SAHM that "Well, you get a break by going to work" yes, I love my job but I would not say its a break. Its different but not a break. I took the afternoon yesterday to FINALLY get my hair done and my husband complained when I got home cause I did not know what was for dinner and I had all afternoon off to plan. UGH!!! Well, I guess this is my I understand.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy! Now, over a year later, I can say that being a stay at home mom has equal challenges, but working moms have so much more to juggle. I am truly grateful to have a perspective on both.
DeleteGreat Post!! It does seem easier now that my girls are older. I never felt guilty for going to work, because I knew what I was going for and that was to provide for my kids. So when people say I'd do whatever I had to do to take care of my kids thats just what it is. I've done both and both have challenges, and for sure no one is better than the other.
ReplyDeleteI agree, challenges in both situations. Glad to hear you felt good about working, it makes the situation so much better!
DeleteMeagan,
ReplyDeleteYes that is a perfect way to describe it. I admire SAHM's as much as I admire working moms and know that we both face challenges but I feel so guilty that my house is a wreck, I don't cook dinner that often, I miss the cute things my kids do during the day, I miss some of the preschool parties that my kids have, I don't spend enough time with my husband or kids, etc. so I often neglect me to try to make up for this. My hair is in desperate need of a cut, my nails look horrible and I haven't been out for a GNO well since shortly after my son was born 3 years ago but not only do I feel guilty because I've already missed so much while at work, I also do not want to miss another moment. It can be vicious...
Oh, Amanda! I feel you. So often moms, especially the working ones, put themselves so far behind everything else. I never quite found the balance. Prayers for you that it gets easier!
DeleteI stay at home and I deal with guilt! I guess it just goes with motherhood. :o/
ReplyDeleteYes, it seems that the moment we are handed our bundle of joy a can of "guilty" is tucked into the blanket as well. I will say, now that I am at home with my daughter, I feel much less guilty about going to get my hair done!
DeleteI found your blog through Kelly's Korner. I agree that the working mom and the SAHM have different perspectives. (I'm not trying to say one is better than the other). So many typical SAHM mom views are pushed on working moms and they don't fit - such as moms need a break from their kids. I actually wanted to write a post about mom stereotypes and working moms.
ReplyDeleteBeing in both situations ( working outside of the home and now as a SAHM) and can see both sides of it, and I have total respect for both. It's definitely a personal experience for everyone, so stereotypes don't always fit!
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