Thursday, January 20, 2011

Love and Marriage......... and Baby

Well, it ain't' easy. Let me just say that. When I was pregnant, everyone told me how things were gonna change. And I yeah, yeah, yeahed everyone. And I thought that I knew better, was better, had better. But, what I've since learned is that it has nothing to do with "better" because it just is. Having a baby changes everything. Well, maybe not everything, but 9 out of 10 things. Baby now comes first. Over everything. Even the dogs (gasp! I know, I never would have thought. Thankfully someone else was always there to feed the little guys in the early days when I was too overwhelmed to even remember to feed myself....they survived, don't worry).
But one thing I wasn't expecting was the new arrival's impact on our marriage. When I was a hugely pregnant lady, I was on cloud nine. I think that there is some hormone that is in your body while you are pregnant, and whatever it was, it made me so easy going and laid back. Jer was in heaven. Ha! Not that I am high strung ALL the time, just some of the time.
But, now that the overabundance of happy hormone is gone, I'm back at work, and have baby, I'm a little more high strung than normal. And I know that tons of people are in the same boat as me, if not worse. Everyone is busy, I get it. I'm just trying to work this all out.
But, unfortunately, in the process of "working it out", Jeremy and I kind of started, well, not putting each other at the top of our lists. I guess that's the best way to describe it. We get so busy with work and baby stuff and all of the everyday mundane things, that we had kind of forgotten to stop, pay attention to each other and spend some time really listening to each other. It's hard. Harder than I thought because we both want to spend ALL of our time with the sweet baby girl. So, we've kind of put off date nights and long talks. Not good.
So, after one of those much needed, long discussions, we've come up with a game plan and are at least on the same page. Our new resolution- no T.V. on weeknights. Stinks, I know. Jer is especially having a hard time with this one. But now, we spend the nights talking about work, baby, finances, building our new house, selling our current house. And all the stuff that you just need to get off of your chest at the end of the day. I have to say it's a relief. I got scared (for a split second) that maybe we were having "big" issues, but we just weren't communicating, and by god, my husband NEEDS to communicate. He is a little sponge and soaks it all up during the day; and then he needs a break to squeeze his sponge, which is what I think our little talks are doing. We even had a date night last Wednesday. I had forgotten how often we used to grab dinner/lunch/a movie/ice cream and get one-on-one time together. Now, we almost have to schedule this into our week. But, it's important. Important for each one of us, and important for Isla June.
Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.

1 comment:

  1. I am reading a book right now a friend recommended to me called "Kid CEO". It is great on trying to get your marriage ready for a baby/kids and to keep them from running your life. Also, my friend Courtney reccommends a book called "Babyproofing your marriage" (At least, I think thats what its called) She said I should read it after Emmeline gets here so I dont get TOO scared ;) Glad you and Jer are making time for each other. Lets all get together soon!

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